The greatest gift you can give to somebody is your own personal development.
Stop waiting for the “some day” that never seems to come. Stop waiting for people and circumstances to change. Instead change what you can, yourself. Don’t settle for less than you can be. Strive to be your best self. When you take better care of yourself, everybody wins. You will be a better partner and for that matter, a better parent, a better friend, and a better citizen. Everybody benefits from your personal development.
This may sound a little odd but always work harder on yourself than you do your job. You can change the word “job” to any other area of responsibility such as your marriage or your children. I’m not telling you to go to work tomorrow and put your feet up on your desk with your hands behind your head. If you do, then your supervisor will firmly ask you, “What do you think you’re doing?” I don’t think your boss will appreciate it if you respond, “I’m just taking care of myself today.” What I am telling you to do is to take better care of yourself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Self-responsibility is the goal here, not selfishness. You are not trying to be first but rather the best that you can be. You are taking care of yourself for the people that you love. It’s like the pregnant mother who quits smoking for the sake of her unborn child. Or the grandfather who starts an exercise and nutrition program because he wants to watch his grandchildren grow up. By taking better care of us, others will benefit. This can also be compared to keeping your car tuned up. The tune-ups will get you better mileage and the engine will last much longer.
Your decision to improve is the starting point. Decide to take charge of your life TODAY! Decide to separate yourself from the crowd that only makes excuses for why they aren’t living life to the fullest. Their excuses are based on fear. You must conquer your fears. If you listen to your fears, you will never know your truest potential. Your fears will act as roadblocks that keep you from experiencing all of the good things that life has to offer. Fear can fill your mind with thoughts that will hold you back. These thoughts may be such as, “I can’t”, “It’s been tried before”, “It’s too hard” and “I’m not good enough”. It doesn’t take much of this before you no longer trust your instincts. All of us have been through trials of many kinds. It’s not whether you get knocked down; it’s whether you get back up. Your past doesn’t predict your future. Don’t be afraid to live. I challenge you to respond positively, not negatively, to the things that happen to you.
When it looks like you’ve exhausted all of the possibilities, remember this “You Haven’t”! Don’t wish for less problems, wish for more skills. Surround yourself with people and resources that have the answers for self-improvement. If you have a weakness, you need to be strong enough to admit it and then get some help to correct it. Commit yourself to at least fifteen to thirty minutes per day of study for self-improvement. This can be reading, listening to a tape, or watching a program but make sure you get your time in. You can miss a meal but don’t miss this time of study. Focus on topics that promote spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental growth. Life will become much easier as you become better equipped to handle its challenges.
What could you do with your life if you really decide to? How do you want to be remembered? Stay away from the dead end street of comparing yourself to others. Doing your best is more important than being the best. Choose to make the most of each and every day. By building a solid foundation of self-improvement you will have so much more to offer to the ones you love. When you are your best self everybody wins.
Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. He is the author of How To Be A Great Partner and How To Argueproof Your Relationship. Read more of his articles www.TheRelationshipSpecialist.com
