By Mark Webb, The Relationship Specialist
Marriage is what you make of it. Strive to make yours great. Here are 15 secrets for making your marriage grow in happiness and fulfillment regardless of how many years you’ve been together:
Greet Your Spouse With Enthusiasm. Smile when your spouse enters the room. Get up out of your chair and wait for them at the door. Put some muscle into your hug. Put some smack into your kiss.
Be Playful. Keep your playful, goofy side alive. Don’t be goofy all the time but enough so that there is a youthful energy between the two of you. Sing together. Dance. Look for things that bring laughter into each other’s life.
Don’t Cut Corners. Refuse to take the easy or cheap way. Be someone who goes the extra mile.
Use Language That Honors and Respects. Never let stress or your emotions get you off track from being a gentleman or a lady.
Don’t Be So Opinionated or Judgmental That You Keep Your Spouse From Being Open. Be quick to listen and slow to speak. If communication has shut down; evaluate whether you have stopped listening to what your spouse has to say.
Strive To Make Your Spouse’s Needs A Priority. Everyone gives this lip service but very few actually live by it. Develop a heart of service. Put your spouse’s feelings and needs ahead of your own. If they don’t reciprocate; then skip ahead to number 13.
Drop Resentments That Should Have Been Buried A Long Time Ago. Holding onto old wounds will kill a marriage. Strive to forgive and forget.
Remember The Basics. Don’t allow yourself to become so comfortable in your relationship that you stop saying “Thank you”, “I love you”, “I’m sorry”, and “You look nice today.”
Remember All Important Dates. Always acknowledge your wedding anniversary, your spouse’s birthday, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day (even if she isn’t your momma or not your daddy) and Valentine’s Day.
Focus On What Your Spouse Does Right. Anyone can be a faultfinder. Someone who strives to be their best has learned to look for the good in their partner. Be sure to acknowledge these actions. It’s called positive reinforcement.
Find Common Interests. Don’t park on the notion that you don’t have anything in common; find something!
Compliment Each Other. On stage and off; make sure you compliment your partner. It particularly makes an impact when you do it off stage.
If The Marriage Has Stalled; Consider Getting Some Therapy. If your best efforts haven’t worked; seek professional guidance. A good therapist can often make some suggestions that you haven’t thought of.
Pay Attention To Your Appearance. Make a conscious effort to look your best. Look good and smell good.
Pursue Your Spouse With Passion. The honeymoon doesn’t have to fade. Make a commitment to increase your level of interest and desire for your spouse. Do not take your spouse for granted. Don’t set yourself up to be someone with regrets later on in life.
Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. He is the author of How To Be A Great Partner and How To Argueproof Your Relationship. Read more of his articles at www. TheRelationshipSpecialist.com
