12 Strategies That Will Help You Not Be So Easily Offended
“This world can be very mean but you have to be a part of it.” ~ Dorraine Webb
1) Don’t Take Things Personally.
Everything is not about you and even if you are being attacked, I encourage you to avoid getting defensive. Let go of your need to quickly defend yourself against all attacks. This is one of the key steps in becoming thicker skinned. Strive to not be bothered so much by what people say and do. Take a more neutral position.
2) Give The Benefit Of Doubt.
Not everyone is out to get you. Strive to see people as generally good in their intentions. Most people in your life are good and wish you no harm. If they do offend you, strive to see their words or behavior as unintentional. If the words and behaviors of offense become a chronic pattern then maybe you are dealing with someone you need to avoid.
3) Realize That You Have Better Things To Do.
Don’t waste your time on worrying too much about what others think or say about you. If you are not careful you will allow other people’s words to control your ability to be happy.
“Whenever anyone has offended me, I try to raise my soul so high that the offense cannot reach it.” ~ Rene Descartes
4) Stay Away From Hot Topics.
Either redirect the topic toward a friendlier subject or drop the matter altogether. Hot topics like politics can be a one way ticket for someone to get offended. Just because we should be able to talk about hot topics doesn’t mean that it’s a good idea; especially if you have a history of being quick tempered and easily offended.
5) Develop A Sense Of Humor.
Learn to laugh at yourself and your shortcomings. Show people that you are comfortable with who you are and that you can take a joke. Learn to tell the difference between a harmless joke and an intentional dig or attack. This shows maturity. Overreacting shows that you are immature and a cry baby.
6) Learn From Your Mistakes.
If in the past you have been hot headed, over reactive and embarrassed by how you have mishandled situations; then seek to figure out how you could have handled the matter better. You are being foolish if you keep making the same over reactive and sensitive reactions. Seek to make yourself an example of how people should carry themselves, even if the other person is rude.
7) Be Responsive Instead Of Reactive.
Ask yourself “Is this really worth getting upset over?” “Am I being a little too sensitive?” If you believe it is; then do not let your emotions override your sense of character and integrity. Never let your hurt or anger dictate your response. Strive to maintain a calm strength. Sometimes it is best to say nothing.
8) Use Positive Self Talk.
When you are offended, strive to redirect your thoughts from negative and upset ideas towards more positive and constructive outcomes. Tell yourself things like
“Don’t let it get to you.” “I can handle this.” “Stay calm, cool and collected.”
9) Seek The Best Way To Express Your Thoughts and Feelings.
Always think before you speak. Take a moment to gather your thoughts. If you have a history of reacting too strongly to criticism, then come up with some predetermined responses to things you commonly get upset about. If someone points out that you are always late and there is truth in their statement then simply respond
“That’d hurt if it weren’t true.’ And simply move on. This will take the bite out of their comment and you will have handled it in a calm and playful manner.
“Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house” ~ Fran Lebowitz
10) Strive To Be Bulletproof.
Our parents tried to teach us this by telling us “Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me.” When you take a defensive posture towards hurtful comments or behaviors, you are seeing yourself as vulnerable. If you will see yourself as bulletproof, you are not taking a position of being indestructible. If you are bulletproof, then other people cannot hurt you.
11) Don’t Be A Victim.
You always have a choice. You can see yourself as weak and powerless or you can see yourself as strong and bulletproof. You can view the world as a dangerous place filled with mean people or you can view it as a wonderful place filled with loving and kind people. The choice is yours.
12) Be A Person Who Seeks Forgiveness.
You can choose to see others as mean and undeserving of mercy or you can be a person of forgiveness. Forgiveness is an ability of the emotionally strong. I encourage forgiveness because it is the path for peace of mind.
“Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you’re doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness. You can choose to not let little things upset you.” ~Joel Osteen
Best of Wishes,
Mark Webb
