“Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.”
~Martin Luther
Valentine’s Day is set aside to give you a day to pay special honor to your loved one. Valentine’s Day is a great tradition and reminds us to keep our love alive and the relationship rejuvenated. What if you decided to live and breathe the ideals of Valentine’s Day 365 days a year? Can you imagine the impact this could have on your relationship? This would mean a stronger, more secure love with more playful and romantic memories. Here are 25 strategies to build honor for your partner and at the same time create a relationship that will make your friends jealous:
Compliment your partner for the good things they bring to the relationship. Be specific and sincere.
Demonstrate that you value what your partner has to say; be a good listener.
Restrain your tongue from speaking any unkind or hurtful words. Your tongue can either build your relationship up or your tongue can tear it down.
Surprise your partner from time to time with thoughtful gestures such as a card with a handwritten letter, flowers, a wanted gift, etc. When asked “What’s the occasion?” simply respond, “Because I love you!”
Pray for your partner every day; out loud or in your head, in their presence or not. Do this especially during the tough times.
Show your partner they are more important than any task or any person. Don’t let any person or another thing interfere with the certainty of your love for each other.
Always be polite and respectful. Demonstrate a high degree of courtesy whether you feel like it or not. Far too often we let our feelings dictate what we do. A relationship that honors our partner carries a willingness to rise above how we feel.
Never belittle your partner. This means no name-calling or unnecessary criticisms. It doesn’t matter if you are alone or other people are present; don’t do it.
Keep your word. Make your promises mean something.
Make it clear through words and actions that you need and value your partner.
Keep good grooming habits. Maintain your health. Don’t make your partner have to tolerate your lack of attention to how you look and smell.
Avoid disagreements in front of your children. Demonstrate respect for your partner and expect your children to speak and act in a respectful manner.
Always remember and celebrate special occasions such as birthdays and anniversaries. This includes Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and Valentine’s Day.
Attend church together. Most churches convey a message of honoring the marriage and promote the skills needed to do so.
Attend marriage and relationship enhancement seminars to better learn how to enrich your relationship.
Talk with your partner instead of talking at him or her. You want to work at connecting with your partner versus shutting them down.
Always greet your partner with enthusiasm.
Strive to give your best self to your partner. Don’t rest on the fact that you’re better than most of the others partners in the world. Be your best!
Comfort your partner in the tough times. Show them you care by holding down the fort but also remember to ask how they are doing. Your relationship is more than just a practical arrangement. Add the dimension of genuine concern and emotional support.
Don’t disagree with your partner in front of others. This includes friends and family.
Do chores around the house and run errands without complaining. This also includes without sound effects (deep sighs).
Let your partner sleep in every now and then while you get the children ready for school.
Call your partner if you’re going to be late. This prevents worry and aggravation.
Show interest and support towards the things that your partner values as important. My wife earned her black belt in Taekwondo. Not because she had a deep interest in the martial arts but because she wants to spend time with me in what I enjoy doing. (She became Georgia’s Triple Crown Champion two years running in the process).
Make eye contact when your partner is talking to you and when you’re talking to them. Eye contact shows sincerity and interest. It says you care and you want to hear what they have to say.
P.S. — A quick word for the men who will only follow through with Valentines Day because it is expected….
Women can always tell if men put thought into Valentine’s Day or if they’re just winging it. Careful planning will give her the message that she is special to you.
Things to Remember Before Valentine’s Day
Do something to remind you to plan early, such as writing a note or placing a reminder in your phone calendar.
Don’t wait until the last minute to prepare.
Make dinner reservations.
Preorder flowers.
Get her a card before they are picked through.
Arrange a babysitter yourself; don’t make her do it.
She needs to know that she knows that she is special to you, that she is your top priority.
Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. He is the author of How To Be A Great Partner and How To Argueproof Your Relationship. Read more of his articles www.TheRelationshipSpecialist.com
