“When anger rises, think of the consequences.” ~ Confucius
Getting angry is a great way to get things you want. Anger works more often than not because most civilized people don’t like conflict and upset feelings. So the angrier you get the more likely the other person will give into your wishes and demands.
Children use this tactic on their parents to get what they want. By the time they are teenagers they have become experts at this.
Husbands frequently use anger to manage their household. Getting loud and angry usually will get their children and their wife to comply with their demands.
Wives also do the same tactic and the results can be equally as good.
Anger in the workplace can train your supervisor not to ask you to do more than expected and if you are intimidating enough, you may be able to get out of doing the tasks you are that supposed to be within your actual job description.
It is amazing how common this negative tactic is in pretty much every environment imaginable.
“A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough.” ~Bruce Lee
If you are someone who uses anger to manipulate others then you probably believe the following misconceptions:
1) I Can’t Control My Temper.
You need to stop believing you can’t do anything about it. Your emotions and response to your anger are under your control. You simply haven’t been trying to control your anger because you see that anger does work to your favor. The strategies you have been using are ineffective.
2) My Anger Needs To Be Vented.
It’s not a good idea to hold your anger inside but venting your anger in an uncontrolled manner isn’t healthy either. Expressing your anger in an excessive manner only makes things worse. The person on the receiving end of your anger is likely to become frightened or even angry themselves. Nothing good will be achieved.
3) I Never Realize That I’m Getting To A Point Of Losing My Temper.
Anger management is about realizing that you’re angry and consciously choosing to direct the anger in the proper direction. Your response to your anger can be chosen, and your response can better the situation.
4) If I Back Down From My Beliefs Then People Will Take Advantage Of Me.
If you believe that being aggressive and intimidating is just your way of being strong, then you are headed on a path that leads to loneliness. You will not get more respect by being a bully. A strong person has control over themselves. People actually will respond more positively to your needs and requests if you treat them with respect and dignity.
“A quarrelsome man has no good neighbors.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
Have you ever considered the consequences of your choosing anger to get the things you want?
Your children may respect you but they will also be afraid of you. This is true of your spouse as well. They may tell you some things but they won’t tell you everything because of their concerns of having to live through your frightening demonstration of anger.
You may be able to keep your job but you will never rise to the top of your field because of your emotional immaturity.
“Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
If you are the boss, then you most likely are only a boss and not a true leader. Your employees tolerate you because they need a paycheck but they probably don’t like you and feel like they walk on eggshells.
Your spouse may seem like they have an endless supply of forgiveness for your angry tirades but don’t be surprised when you come home one day and learn that you are about to be divorced.
“Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you are.” ~ Cherie Carter-Scott
The good news is that your story doesn’t have to end this way. Anyone can change. All it takes is:
1) You must decide to improve how you deal with things.
2) Admitting to yourself or perhaps your spouse, children and coworkers that you have been wrong in how you’ve handled things.
3) Learning how to get the things you want in a more effective manner. This may involve reading books, going to therapy, going to church, watching YouTube videos and seeking the help of role models.
“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.” ~ Chinese Proverb
