By Mark Webb, The Relationship Specialist
If you would like to have an exceptional life, you will need to set standards for yourself that will be unusually higher than the standards most people set for themselves. Good standards produce average to poor results but exceptional standards produce amazing results. Here are some points to consider when developing a code of honor for how you want to live your life from here on out:
1) Practice Self Respect.
Respecting yourself means giving and defining your own worth and value as a human being. If you do not respect yourself, it will limit how you respect others. Self-respect involves setting high standards for yourself in how you live your life spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally. It involves putting yourself first sometimes and not allowing others to disrespect you.
2) Treat Other People The Way You Would Like To Be Treated.
Treat everyone with kindness, not because they are kindhearted, but because you are. Be nice to everyone; not just the nice people but the difficult people as well.
3) Always Use Your Best Manners.
You may have been raised in a barn but you know your manners. Always say “Thank you.” “You’re welcome.” Always be polite and courteous.
4) Give Others Your Full Attention.
When someone is talking to you; stop what you are doing and truly listen to them. Do this regardless of who they are. Give your spouse and your children the same level of courtesy as you would for someone of authority. Give this same level of attention to the various people whom you come into contact with on a daily basis.
5) Be A Trustworthy Person.
Be a person who is known for being honest and who keeps their word.
6) Think Before You Speak.
The Bible tells us to be quick to listen and slow to speak. It is a virtue of the wise to carefully consider what you are saying to others. Voltaire said that “Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said.”
7) Avoid Bad Influences.
Do not allow yourself to make exceptions regarding things that you know are not good for you. Everyone knows right from wrong. Stay away from bad habits and negative behaviors such as pornography, gossip, etc, the list can go on and on. This also includes people who try to influence you to engage in negative behavior. Be careful who you associate with and where you spend your time associating. For instance, if you want to improve your health then join a gym and avoid behaviors like smoking and drinking which can only push your progress backwards.
8) Put Yourself In The Other Person’s Shoes.
Make an effort to look at things from other people’s perspective. Life can be looked at from many different perspectives.
9) Strive To Never Hurt Anyone Else’s Feelings.
I love the quote which says “In a world where you can be anything; choose to be kind.” If someone says or does something hurtful towards you it doesn’t mean you have to return the act. Strive not to retaliate. Two wrongs don’t make a right.
10) Strive To Always Be Positive.
You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind. We live in a world where it is very easy to become negative and cynical but train yourself instead to always look for the good in everyone you meet and every situation you find yourself in. Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will. Positive thoughts, words and actions lead to a better way of life.
11) Don’t Be Too Opinionated. People who are too opinionated tend to dominate conversations.
They are basically know-it-alls who really don’t want to hear what you have to say; but are only waiting for their chance to talk. They come across as obnoxious and blunt and tend to start their statements with words like “I hate…” or “I can’t stand…”
12) Show Respect For Other People’s Opinions.
Part of learning self-respect involves respecting the beliefs of others. Just because someone’s opinion is different than your own, it does not mean they are wrong. 7+2=9 but so does 6+3. The way you do things is not always the only way to do them.
13) Be Big Enough To Apologize And Admit When You Are Wrong.
Accept responsibility and formally apologize when you have done wrong and then strive to make amends. Don’t let the words, “I’m sorry” become a matter of pride. Some people simply refuse to speak these words. The words of a sincere apology can mend most situations.
14) Avoid Being A Gossip Or Being A Part Of Gossip.
As soon as someone starts to gossip, change the subject to another topic. If the person tries to go back to gossiping, give him or her a firm look and switch again. Even if what is being said is true, let it be known that you do not want to continue with this discussion. If the gossip continues, walk away. Remember, someone who will talk about others behind their backs will probably talk about you behind your back as well.
15) Strive To Be An Example Of A Life Well Lived.
Live your life to the fullest. Be all that you can be and make the most of every day.
These are just some examples. Spend some thoughtful time and consider the question, “How do I want to live my life?” and then start being more intentional in how you do.
Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. He is the author of How To Be A Great Partner and How To Argueproof Your Relationship. Read more of his articles www.TheRelationshipSpecialist.com
