Spotting a manipulative person can be challenging, but if you’re aware of certain phrases, you can avoid falling into their traps. Here are 12 common phrases or questions to watch out for:
“You Always Have to Be the Victim”
This phrase shifts blame onto you, diverting attention from the manipulative person’s behavior. If someone hurts your feelings and you call them out, it means you’re self-aware, not playing the victim. Don’t let them turn the situation around.
“You’re Always Drama, Drama, Drama.”
This dismissive statement deflects attention from the manipulator’s actions. It’s often used when you confront them about their behavior, making you seem overly dramatic.
“You Can’t Take Criticism.”
Designed to make you doubt yourself, this phrase suggests you’re defensive. However, the so-called “criticism” is likely hurtful comments disguised as feedback. Constructive criticism aims to help, not harm.
“You Have No Idea What You’re Talking About.”
This undermines your knowledge and experience, allowing the manipulator to maintain superiority and control. It’s a tactic to make you question your understanding and back down.
“You Always Have to Have Things Your Way.”
Aims to make you feel selfish and inflexible. The manipulator is projecting their need for control onto you.
“You’re Always So Sensitive.”
This phrase minimizes your feelings and shifts blame onto you. By making you feel like the problem, the manipulator avoids taking responsibility for their actions.
“It Was Only a Joke.”
Manipulators often hide behind humor to make hurtful comments. When called out, they accuse you of not being able to take a joke, avoiding accountability for their words.
“You’re Overthinking This.”
This tactic makes you doubt your perceptions and feelings. It’s used when you challenge the manipulator, making you feel like you’re overanalyzing or exaggerating the situation.
“Nobody Else Believes That.”
Similar to the above, this phrase isolates you by suggesting your thoughts are abnormal. It aims to make you question your judgment and feel alone in your perspective.
“Why Can’t You Be More Like [Someone Else]?”
Comparing you to others undermines your self-worth and highlights your supposed inadequacies. This tactic shifts focus away from the manipulator’s own flaws.
“I Don’t Remember That.”
This phrase allows the manipulator to avoid admitting their mistakes. By claiming they don’t remember, they maintain their stance of always being right, creating confusion and doubt.
“Are You Jealous?”
This question twists a normal emotion into something negative, making you seem petty. At the same time, it boosts the manipulator’s ego by making you feel guilty for your feelings.
Recognize the Patterns
None of these comments or questions alone define someone as manipulative. The key is to identify these as patterns in your interactions. If you aren’t guilty of the accusations, trust your instincts about the possibility of manipulation.
Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at Oakwood Counseling Center in Valdosta. He is the author of How To Be A Great Partner and How To Argueproof Your Relationship.
