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21 Quick Pieces Of Advice That Can Help Keep You Out Of Couples Therapy
“In you I’ve found the love of my life and my closest, truest friend.” ~ Unknown
1) Tell Your Partner Often That You Love Them.
Some people say it doesn’t mean anything if you say it all the time. Make it mean something then. Back up your words with a loving look and touch.
2) Always Be Respectful. No excuses.
Honor your partner even if you are tired and stressed out. Do this even if they are being annoying. Make this your standard.
3) Show Interest In Their Life.
When they talk, listen. Ask questions about their day. Try not to sound like you’re conducting an inquisition. Ask about their hobbies, their parents and their thoughts about things in the news. Allow a differing view.
4) Compliment Your Partner Often.
Life can be hard. Some people never hear a kind word. Don’t let this happen to your partner. Speak words of encouragement and acknowledge the things they do and who they are. It could be something as simple as saying “Thank you for working so hard for us.”
5) Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff.
As long as they are doing things right 80% of the time; let 20% slide. Don’t call your partner out on every little thing they do wrong. No one wants to be criticized all the time.
“Falling in love is easy. But staying in love is very special.” ~ Unknown
6) Keep Your Playful/ Goofy Side.
Stay young at heart. Be silly. Strive to be a fun person to live with.
7) Focus On The Things They Do Right.
I routinely talk to people who have destroyed relationships because their partner wasn’t perfect. They chose to focus on the negatives as opposed to the positives.
8) Don’t Allow Your Family Or Friends To Disrespect Them.
Protect your partner and your relationship.
9) Greet Your Partner With Enthusiasm.
Even if you’ve been at work all day, do it anyway. It will set a better tone for both of you for the rest of the evening.
10) Make Time For Your Partner.
Don’t overextend yourself. Your partner needs to be on the upper part of your priority list, not near the bottom.
11) Be Just As Nice When It’s Just The Two Of You.
Don’t act nice only when you have an audience. Your partner will see you as a truly genuine person if you honor them even when you’re off stage.
“There is a time for risky love. There is a time for extravagant gestures. There is a time to pour out your affections on one you love. And when the time comes – seize it, don’t miss it.” ~ Max Lucado
12) Keep Yourself In Shape.
You can get away with being out of shape for a season but don’t let yourself go altogether. Striving to be healthy promotes better thoughts about the future of your relationship.
13) Keep Your Criticism Constructive.
Give feedback that helps your partner improve. You can deliver negative feedback in such a way that it doesn’t come across as hurtful.
14) Take Vacations Together.
Even if it’s just to the park in town. Couples need time to reconnect and energize their relationship.
15) Initiate Intimacy Regularly.
Don’t let this fall solely on your partner. This needs to be a two way street.
16) Remember The Little Things.
Bring the love of your life their morning coffee, the newspaper, a sweet kiss. Say thank you. Do some of their chores from time to time. Use good manners. Little things can go a long way towards giving you a great relationship.
“I want to be very close to someone I respect and admire and have somebody who feels the same way about me.” ~ Richard Bach
17) Go On Dates. Don’t get too settled in.
Scheduled date nights are hard to sustain but I recommend you go on a dinner or movie date regularly.
18) Shoot Them A Text or An Email.
Let your partner know you are thinking about them.
19) Randomly Surprise Them With A Gift.
It reinforces the idea that you were thinking about them. It makes them feel special.
20) Tell Them You Are Proud Of Them.
Simply say “I am proud of you.” Then have an example to share. This will make their day. They will walk a little taller and smile a little more. Do this often and you will create a relationship that flourishes.
21) Pray Together As A Couple.
I know this is awkward to begin with but it gets easier and it shows a deep desire to keep your heart and your relationship pure.
“You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.” ~ Barbara de Angelis
Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. He is the author of How To Be A Great Partner. Mark has been in the field of helping individuals and couples since 1986. He has a vast amount of experience and he can have a very positive impact on your life and your relationship. If you are looking for individual or marriage counseling, please call his office in Valdosta, Georgia and his staff will help you set up an appointment.
South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center
2704 N. Oak St. Blg B-3
Valdosta, Georgia 31602
229-257-0100
