A lot of couples think they have a communication problem when in fact they have a connection problem. Are you making these common mistakes?
1) Taking Your Partner For Granted.
If you have a great partner, let them know how much you appreciate them.
2) Being Unwilling To Admit When You Are Wrong.
This mistake will frustrate your partner to a point that they will stop talking to you altogether. You cannot be right all the time and expect to have a real relationship.
3) Not Valuing Your Partner’s Opinions.
You need to listen to your partner because they have a vested interest in the relationship and want the best for it as well. View your partner’s input as wise counsel.
4) Being Too Harsh.
It’s not so much what you say but rather how you say it. Maintain a respectful, well-modulated tone of voice.
5) Lecturing Your Partner When You Should Be Encouraging Them.
Everything doesn’t have to be a teaching moment. Stop killing the moment when you could be lifting the one you love up instead.
6) Talking Down To Your Partner As If They Were A Child.
A condescending tone is extremely disrespectful. Your conversation should be on a level between two adults and not one from a parent to child.
7) Being Rude In Public.
Most people act right in public. If you are rude to your partner in public then something is terribly wrong with you.
8) Correcting Your Partner In Front Of Others.
Correction should be done in private. If you are trying to find an exception to this such as ‘What if there is an emergency?” then you are probably guilty of doing this.
9) Not Making Time To Be Together.
A lot of people spell love T I M E. You have to feed your relationship and time is usually the best way.
10) Ignoring Your Partner.
I realize that some people are loners by nature so this just means that if you are one then you are going to have to work harder at being attentive to your partner.
11) Giving Your Partner The Silent Treatment.
Deliberately doing this is cruel. I have talked to couples who have gone days refusing to talk to each other. They say the damage can have irreversible consequences on how they feel about each other.
12) Not Keeping Your Promises.
It may not always be possible to keep your word but don’t allow this to be commonplace.
13) Showing More Attention To Other People.
Do not treat other people with a great respect or attentiveness than you do your partner. Your partner should always feel like they are your priority.
14) Not Making Time To Be Together.
I mention this a second time because I want you to understand that your relationship needs to be fed.
15) Not Saying “I Love You”.
Some people are weird about this one. They feel like if they say it all the time it loses it’s meaning somehow. It only loses meaning if you don’t truly mean it. These people usually figure out the importance of saying this in their next relationship.
16) Forgetting Special Occasions.
Don’t psyche yourself out by saying you have a terrible memory.With all of today’s devices that supply reminders there is no excuse to forget special days.
17) Not Keeping Up Your Appearance.
Make yourself presentable and with good hygiene.
18) Not Helping With The Children.
If you are a parent or a stepparent, you have a responsible to help and be involved with their raising. Don’t dump all of this on your partner.
19) Not Helping With The Housework.
No one likes a lazy partner. Dirty clothes go in the hamper and your dirty dishes need to go in the sink or dishwasher.
20) Watching Too Much Television.
Set a limit on how much television you watch. Television programming is designed to keep you tuned in so be careful not to get addicted to the boob tube.
21) Not Taking Vacations Together.
My professor in college, Dr. John Curtis used to tell us that couples need to get away together about every six weeks at least. Even if it is simply spending the day in a nearby town.
Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. He is the author of How To Be A Great Partner and How To Argueproof Your Relationship. Read more of his articles at www. TheRelationshipSpecialist.com
