10 Proven Steps To Help You Bounce Back After A Heartbreak
By Mark Webb
“Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?” ~ L.M. Montgomery
1) Stay Involved With Friends And Family.
Don’t try to go through the heartbreak all by yourself. Just because you are upset, angry and perhaps ashamed that your relationship has ended, it doesn’t mean that the people who love you won’t be there for you. Don’t push away them away. Instead, reach out to them. Don’t be afraid of being judged. Strive to have at least three people you can lean on in times you feel like talking, crying or venting. This will prevent you from relying too much on just one person.
2) Don’t Spend Too Much Time Wondering About What You Could Have Done Differently.
Looking back on things, you can see that you could have done a lot of things differently. Come to terms that you may never fully understand why the relationship ended. You can blame everything on your former partner but that won’t change anything. You can beat yourself up that the relationship has ended. None of this will change the truth that the relationship is over. Dwelling on the past keeps you there. Just like you can’t drive a car forward by staring in the rearview mirror, you can’t move your life forward if you’re focusing on the past. You can’t change the past. The best you can do is learn from it.
3) Stay Busy.
Some people overload themselves with things to do in order to avoid their feelings while others isolate themselves in inactivity. The key is to find a balance with this; one that works best for you.
4) Dust Off Passions That Perhaps Were Shelved.
If you were married for a long time, you may have given up a lot of the things you enjoyed as a single person because they didn’t fit with your relationship. What were your hobbies and activities before the relationship?
5) Spend Time With Others Who Are Trying To Move On After A Heartbreak.
It will help you to see how other people are coping, as well as help you see that you are not alone. You’d be surprised how their insight and feedback can save you a lot of the aggravating adjustments that most people have to go through.
“We cannot start over, but we can begin now, and make a new ending.”
~ Zig Ziglar
6) Allow Yourself To Grieve.
Nobody gets involved in a relationship thinking it’s going to fail. But once a relationship ends, even if it was you that ended it, there will be a mixture of sadness, depression, loneliness and anger. You may struggle with feelings of remorse for mistakes you made or could have done differently. Don’t dwell on these feelings, but rather acknowledge that it is normal to have feelings of grief and loss. Allow yourself to process these feelings so you can move on with your life without dragging these feelings into your next relationship. Giving excessive attention to what you’ve lost only serves to keep you stuck.
7) Exercise.
One of the best ways to deal with stress is to exercise. This is one of the fastest ways to rebuild your confidence and feel renewed with a better state of mind. I also suggest you allow yourself some extra sleep when possible as part of your healing but don’t overdo it.
8) Shake Things Up A Bit.
This can be something as simple as getting a different haircut or changing your style of dress. It may involve you going to new places and experiencing new activities. It could involve a move to a previously positive town or seeking out an entirely new city to live. Don’t get too crazy with this. You do need to consider things like your children, finances and career options. Sometimes a bad relationship can really mess you up and the point of this is to do your best to shake off the negative residual aspects of the bad relationship.
9) Go On A Date.
It is common to hear people say that they want nothing to do with a relationship after a breakup. Sometimes getting back into the dating game can be really good medicine and should at least be considered.
10) Seek The Benefits Of Therapy.
If you are a private person, if you have a limited support network or if the advice given to you by friends is horrible, then you may should consider seeking the guidance of a therapist. Therapists basically deal with this every day and their insights can be a tremendous value.
“Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.” ~ Unknown
